Even here, I walk in love.

Going into #2 was a bit of a battle of the mind. I felt so good. Like almost like myself. I had spent full days in the office, coaching agents, growing the office, feeling normal BUT knowing that just around the corner it was going to all change again. Now I know why they have 3 weeks in between treatments! On one hand I was so thankful that I felt good, that I was going into the 2nd one not feeling yucky already but the flip side was I knew what was on the other side of Thursday. Chemo day. It was uneventful, which is a blessing. They said if I were going to have a reaction to the meds it would most likely be in the first 2 treatments and I didn’t have any reaction! First use of my port was a success! I forgot to put the numbing cream on before we left the house but honestly it was so easy to access I probably won’t use the cream. Full disclosure, I don’t have an issue with needles. I give blood regularly and it doesn’t bother me. We even got home in time to get Cam to drivers ed. Friday and Saturday I just laid low, did a lot of resting see pics below! Sunday came and I thought I’m feeling ok, I want to go to church. Bad idea. We have now learned that they Sunday after chemo is the worst. I got there, made it through worship and tanked. Eric had to get me out of there and I spent the rest of the day in bed, This time has been different. I hate to say better than the first but different. The first one I was very dehydrated, couldn’t keep any food in and super weak which brought it’s own problems. This time I feel like I have the chemo flu (at least that is what I am calling it) I feel really light headed, short of breath, very achy, kind of like I was hit by the chemo truck and as my brother said, “well you were.” Each day is better than the last. Still having some tummy troubles but have good meds to help!

I have always known I have the best people, but when things are tough you see the best in people. My people are amazing. Eric has spent many days just acting on my every whim. I want vitamin water, that one tastes bad, can you get me ice, I need meds at walgreens, what ever I say he is doing. PLUS getting up with Cam every morning, making sure he gets where he needs to go, keeping the kitchen clean, taking care of the dog, the list goes on and on. Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough. Some of you may know that 8 years ago the roles were reversed. Eric was fighting getting chemo every day and I was the one “taking” care of everything. So I knew going into this how hard it can be on a spouse and he’s taking it like a champ. My friends, coworkers, church family, from the meals, to the stop by’s, to the gofund me, all of the stuff it has been unreal! And to my kids, you guys are my reason! I love you both and am so proud of you.

The one thing I am struggling with is liquids!!! I am thirsty, but can’t drink water and I LOVE water. I don’t want to put crap in my body, the sugar free drinks are gross and full of crap and the others have added sugar. It’s a struggle. If you are going through chemo reading this the struggle is real. I am going to figure it out and let you know what I find!!

God is good all the time. I feel your prayers even when I don’t know what to ask God for. I am praying for you my friends, and special prayers for those in Jamacia in the path of Melissa.