Even here, I walk in love.

Tests, Tests, and more Tests. . . .

Back to September 8th, that was my mammogram that showed the bad lymph nodes. My Devotion title/tagline what ever you want to call it was: In the presence of the Lord we find life, peace, security and eternal hope all which I was being challenged with.

Friday September 19th I flew back from Vegas. It was a nice time to live in not the reality of Cancer. I didn’t feel like myself the whole trip which was tough because I didn’t want to tell people yet either. A few knew and that was ok! So we landed and got home into bed around 2am, and Eric and I were up at 5am to head back into Boston to meet with my oncologist and get my first CT scan.

Dr G. was great, he went over everything with us and then stuff started to move and it felt fast. We went over the chemo regiment, cold capping, all the appointments. I asked him then if this is treatable and he said, yes. Well, let’s see what the CT says before I answer that. So I knew right then that was the prayer, that was the miracle that the cancer hasn’t spread. Left him and went and got blood work, fitted for my cold cap and off to CT.

Many of you have asked about the cold cap. This is a process where you wet your hair, strap on this very tight fitting cap that is hooked up to a machine that pumps freezing liquid through the cap while you are getting chemo. It is intended to freeze your hair follicles and tell the chemo not to touch them. I was told with my type of chemo TCHP that it is very effective. One of my best friends didn’t even hesitate and sent me the money for it. Insurance still doesn’t cover it here yet but from the news lately it looks like that is changing. I talked with the dr about the benefits of doing it. DO I want to lose my hair, well no. But hair grows back so I wasn’t upset about that. The real reason I wanted to do this is because I know I am going to feel sick and if I could not look sick too I thought that would be helpful for my mental health. You know the looks people get when they have no hair. . . I added a picture so you can get the whole idea.

We called on all are prayer warriors to pray during the CT and while driving home from our appointments in Boston, on the phone with our Pastor the results came into my portal, CT WAS CLEAR!!

The following Wednesday brought me a bone scan, echo, and an MRI. The echo was easy peasy. Bone scan was next. I was a little nervous, they inject you with a radioactive something (not even sure what) but I do know that it has to come through the wall into the room in a lead holder till it’s injected. So Yeah. Scan goes well until a tech comes in. She seems all nervous and says so the Dr. wants to do another scan of your head, it is going to be another 15 min scan where the machine travels all around your head and you just lay super still and then they want another CT. Ok, que panic. I asked is there a reason, do they see something? She said well I don’t know they just have nothing to compare it to. Oh Ok, that makes me feel better. NOPE. So I lay there still for 20 min and PRAY. Ok God, I know I told you I’m good with what ever happens and that your plans are perfect and You will get me through BUT cancer in my skull??? I don’t know about that. I pleaded and prayed and used some deep breathing exercises from my therapist. YES I have a therapist, doesn’t everyone? I mean everyone should they are great! Test finished. Now I have 3.5 hours to wait for the next test. I am still freaking out. I called Eric told him what happened and decided that a little walk outside may help. Oh and for those of you judging, wait Eric wasn’t there, I wanted to go alone. It was a LONG day of tests, I could still drive and I needed to get all my continuing ed done for my brokers license so I told him i was good. Do you ever just want to be alone, not talk to anyone? That was how I was feeling. I texted Cristyn and she prayed over text, told me to put in my earbuds and listen to some praise music. I went and found the hospital chapel got on my knees and prayed. I went to MRI early in case they could take me and was in COMPLETE PEACE. I don’t know how people do this with out the Lord.

ALL Tests have come back clear. They are a little baffled. First it’s a completely different kind of cancer and second there is no primary source. I know it is completely amazing that it was found before it spread since it started in my lymph nodes.