Even here, I walk in love.

I’ve never been a writer but God has given me a story to tell so here it goes. In August of 2023 I felt a lump in my right breast. I called my GYN and they were not concerned because it was quite large (overnight) and painful, breast cancer doesn’t grow that fast and isn’t usually painful. BUT they suggested a mammogram. I went in for the mammogram a few days later. I’ll never forget the look in the tech’s eyes when she brought me to the waiting room, asked me to stay in my gown in case they wanted more pictures and said, “good luck, I’ll be thinking of you.” (just in case you wondered please don’t wish anyone good luck when they have NO IDEA what is going on). They came and got me a few minutes later and said that the radiologist wanted an ultrasound. So off to do that. It took the tech all of 3 minutes and she said, wait here I’m going to have the Dr. come in. Well I knew then what was coming next. The head of radiology came in with a card with an appointment for a biopsy. She then told me it’s not a biopsy to see if it’s cancer it’s to tell what type. They could tell from looking at it that it was cancer. SO, the GOD part here??? It was NOT the lump I felt. The lump I left was nothing, it wasn’t even there. It was a very small cancerous spot behind what I was feeling. It could not be felt. 10 days before dropping my baby off at college in Florida I was diagnosed with cancer. I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma in situ and Invasive Ductal Carcinoma grade 3 EP + HER2-, I went through a lumpectomy, and 20 rounds of radiation as well as medically induced menopause (which will have to have it’s own entry!) AND was CANCER FREE!

FAST forward 2 years almost to the DAY. I had my 2 year surgical appointment, all went well they said you are released from our care! But my 6 month mammogram was 2 days later. We had been doing 6 months because I had thought I felt something on the left side (know you body and advocate for YOU). At one of the scans they saw a small cyst on the right, not concerning but that awards you another scan in 6 months. Here is where I really need to THANK the tech that I had. On September 8th the tech saw a “funky” lymph node on my mammogram. It looked like it had calcification. Since finding that it automatically grants you an ultra sound. The great part about Dana Farber is they have the radiologist do the ultra sound so they can talk you through it right then. She started with she wasn’t concerned since I have a tattoo on my right side and they often see tattoo ink in lymph nodes and that is what it looked like to her. GOD is good. That tattoo ink lymph node lead her deeper to many others that didn’t have the calcification but didn’t look good. These could not be felt and wouldn’t have been seen on a scan. This earned me another biopsy. Thankfully they got me in the next morning. I pushed my office meeting an hour later and went right in. THE WAIT . . THE GOOGLE . . Neither are good or easy. And yes I waited and googled. God was prepping me in so many ways for the news. Through song, and scripture I knew He had me no matter what. Was I praying for a miracle YES! But do I know that God’s plan is perfect and SO much better than mine YES! I knew that if the cancer was back it wasn’t that God wasn’t answering our prayers it was that He had a plan. Just before leaving for Vegas on a work trip I got the news in my portal. It was cancer again. CRAZY part? It was a TOTALLY different type of cancer. This time it is EP- HER2+ and it is no where else but in my lymph nodes. The next week I lived in a space of knowing but not. If that makes sense. I went to Vegas with my amazing agents. I saw the things, learned the stuff, all not knowing what was for me when I returned.

First post seems so long. I have so much more to share. I’ll leave with this for today. 1 in 8, let that sink in 1 in 8 women get breast cancer. I had a very dear friend share when she was diagnosed instead of saying why me, she said why not me. Maybe I can handle it better than the other 7, maybe I have a stronger support system, maybe I have a faith that will carry me through. WHY not ME?