Even here, I walk in love.

Tomorrow is my LAST CHEMO!!! I don’t know if I totally have let that sink in and all the feelings that go with it. Don’t get me wrong they are all good feelings. Well mostly. I have been getting instantly nauseous when I think about putting the cold cap on or even treatment. It is weird, I pulled it out to prep and the smell of the rubber from the cap brought on an instant feeling of sitting in the chair getting ready to start. And the first 15 min of cold capping sucks. Once I’m all frozen I don’t notice it at all but those first few minutes are rough.

Update as to where we are and where we are going. Last blog I was meeting with my surgeon, well I have met with both and I wanted to do the double mastectomy and lymph node removal at the same time as the reconstruction but that is not going to happen. They both agree that it is too risky. So I will have the first surgery on 2/24 and then 4-6 weeks later 15 rounds of radiation and then 6 months later reconstruction.

BINGO is what Cristyn yells when I have a new side effect or something happen from chemo. This week she told me I should get a prize now. On Sunday night during the Pats game I spiked a fever and got rigors. (which is intense violent shivering) AWFUL. Like you can’t stop shaking, your heart rate spikes and you feel out of control. When the ibuprofen kicked in they stopped. I went to sleep. In the am still had the fever so it earned me a trip to the ER. Not the place you want to be in the middle of a terrible flu season. There wasn’t even an open seat. Fun God story side note: There was a girl sitting next to me in a wheel chair because she was too weak to walk. She was in so much pain and was weeping in between vomiting. I felt so bad I just prayed and prayed that God would make it stop for her, I closed my eyes and I heard it stop. I peaked out and she was asleep!! God is so good. OK SO back to the fever, they did a CT scan and found an abscess that needed to be removed immediately. So off to the operating room I went! BINGO! This was caused by a side effect of a side effect of chemo! I get a prize! I got into a room with a sweet 95 year old lady. The room had to be 95 degrees and the nurses aid said just think like you are on a tropical island my friend over there was cold. UMMMM NO, I am in a hospital LOL. So it gets better, we are separated by a curtain and I hear her start yelling, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. Mind you I am fresh out of anesthesia, so I say are you calling for me? YES she says, I need you to help me up. UMMM NO again. I’m sorry I can’t I just had surgery. She continues well I need help I need to call my son and I don’t have a phone or a number. I felt so bad but I had to call the nurse at least 5 times for her because she couldn’t find her call button. EVEN though I got up out of bed and went over to hand it to her. This was just part of the shenanigans! SO FUN at the hospital!! Her son did come to take her home!

Prepping before Chemo, I try to talk about something helpful here for those who are going through chemo. The days leading up to treatment are my best days. I prep my bedroom, make sure all my laundry is done and put away, sheets are clean, its been vacuumed. This is where I spend most of the first week so I want it to feel peaceful. I also make sure all my meds are filled, I have Gatorade on hand and apple juice. We also go to the grocery store to make sure the boys have what they need for the week. People have been amazing helping with them!! AND the soup deliveries have been top notch! I eat mostly soup the first week or 2. I visit my chiropractor which I have been doing 3 times a week since starting! I credit Dr. Craig MacFarland for keeping my body aligned and ready to handle what ever chemo throws at it!! Lastly I eat what ever I am craving!!! AND let me tell you I have had more cravings then when I was pregnant with both kids combined!!!

I feel good. God is good. Keep those prayers coming! ALMOST through the hardest part!! THANK GOD!!!!

Work from home set up this week since I couldn’t sit well, and hospital!